Does this change anything?
by lillalollan
Summary: Blaine and Kurt have been friends for years. Kurt has lately however been developing feelings for Blaine and something happens that may ruin their friendship for good, or is it the start of something else?


I'm new here so go easy on me and please take into account that i am not a native english speaker...

Rated T, (apparently every story needs to be rated)

maybe i'll get better as time goes by with all the regulations so please be patient

"what do you want me to do, you know, about what happened last night? Was it something we did because we were drunk and bored or was it something more?" -Kurt

"why do you want to know?" -Blaine

"i got this text from this guy back home, he wants to go on a date and i want to know what to tell him." - Kurt

"tell him what you want. It's none of my business what you do and i'm not ready for anything seriouse at the moment" - Blaine

It's funny how easily your heart can break. This is the guy i've had a crush on for a good year and last night had been amazing. Sure, we were both a little drunk but i can still remember everything. The touch of his fingers in my hair, his lips on mine and his body pressed on top of mine. I wanted those moments to last forever. I can still feel his lips on mine, and my good was he a good kisser. Nobody had ever kissed me like that before. There was that something, a sparke, a moment where you just know that it feels so right. I guess he didn't feel it. My breath gets caught in my trouth and my heart skips a beat as i read his message again. He doesn't want me the same way i want him. Right. Here is the guy i want that doesn't want me, and then there's this other guy who wants to take me on a date. Maybe i should just give him a shot. I mean he is nice and kind, and the kind that would never intentionally hurt me, it's just that i didn't feel the thing you're supposed to feel, with him. Maybe i still should give him a shot, maybe i can learn to feel things for him. Yeah, maybe i can be happy with him.

I finish my shift before i do or text anything to anyone. I thought that maybe it would help me make my mind up, but it didn't. I text Will, apologize for not texting earlier, citing that i was at work and didn't hear the phone. I tell him that i would gladly go on a date with him. I hit send and jump in my car and head home to my dark and empty apartement. It takes me half an hour to navigate traffic and come home and still no reply. Have i lost my chance with Will? Am i too late, is there really no one for me?

Against my better judgement i find myself typing a message to Blaine. " Maybe this will make me sound like something i'm not but i'm not looking for anyhting seriouse at this moment either. I'm planing on leaving town in half a year so what i was thinking was that if both of us were in the same place at the same time, that maybe we could have fun together, your choice." Before i know better and delete it, i press send. I'm by my front door, open it and close it behind me. No response from either. God, my life really sucks right now, can i please take it all back. I take my clothes of and throw them over a chair and hop in the shower. As i stand there in the shower with scolding hot water coming down on me i wonder where my life went wrong and how i ended up here. Sure, i have no regrets when it comes to my academic career, i enjoy my classes and i like my work, but my lovelife is a mess, if you can even call it a lovelife. The random hook-ups and emotionless one-night stands make me ashamed of my self. Not even my closest friends know how many ther have been or how i really feel about them. I really just wanna find that one guy who will take my hand, take my breath away and stop the world from spinning around me. I wanna be one of those couples that walk hand in hand and laugh in the winter air and stop to look at the shopwindows.

I stand there, maybe five minutes, maybe half an hour, but finally deciding that i should return to the real world. I'm just gonna head to bed and try to forget this day all together. I take my phone to set the alarm for tomorrow when i see the two unread messages i apparently got while in the shower.

"sounds like fun, i'm down with that" - Blaine"

"It's a date, i'll pick you up on friday at seven. Looking forward to seeing you. : )" - Will

I go to bed feeling like the worst person on earth.


End file.
